After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
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