I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
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