You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
This is the high leading the old right now
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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