The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
