Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize