I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
tell your sister to shave her snatch
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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