So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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