when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
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