I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Randomize
