bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
