This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
