Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
