I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
false alarm. still invincible.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Randomize
