We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
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