Need sex. Gaining weight.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
