Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
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