I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
So vagazzling was a success
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