So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize