Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
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