do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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