he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
