thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
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