you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Randomize
