I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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