I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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