She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
why does every cop we meet know your name?
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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