Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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