Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
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