I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
Randomize
