I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Randomize
