Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Randomize
