i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Randomize
