fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Randomize
