Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Randomize
