I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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