i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
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