And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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