Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Randomize
