Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
