Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize