Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
