WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Randomize
