We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
