I'm so fucking centered right now
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
I just googled if crying burns calories
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Randomize
