Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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