i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Randomize
