Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
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