Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
