The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
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