Christians are straight up FREAKS
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
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