i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
