Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
