Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
