You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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