Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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