Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
