I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
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