even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
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