Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
