Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Drake has all the answers
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