I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Randomize
